Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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