i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
