i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
