We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
