I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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