I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Randomize
