were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
