well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
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It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
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Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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