Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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