You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
