Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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