please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize