I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
