Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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