How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
