Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
