the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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