you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize