I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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