I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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