McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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