Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Randomize
