hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
