ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
