so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
