Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just high enough for therapy.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
