and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
