Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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