thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
