I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How many fucks given?
0.12846
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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