but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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