when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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