I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
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I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize