thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize