I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize