it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
