my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize