my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
