So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
