He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
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Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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