The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
