YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize