dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm getting married
To pizza
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
