Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Randomize
