I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize