I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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