just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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