I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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