Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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