was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
