somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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