All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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