things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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