haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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