It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
